This past weekend, I had the honor of watching a good college friend of mine get married. She wasn't the first one out of our group to tie the knot, but you wouldn't have been able to tell judging from my excitement level during the weeks prior to the big event. I mean I absolutely love watching my friends get married (who doesn't get a kick out of watching the people who mean so much to them start such an important new chapter of their life?!), but in this case, I was especially amped.
A few factors came into play. First off, although she had a few flings in college, I've never actually witnessed my friend as a part of a serious, monogamous couple. This just so happens to be her first long-term relationship (we can't all be so lucky as to avoid those complicated, messy, emotionally scarring break-ups!). After college, this particular friend took an adventurous career path that lead her to a few different states, all of them quite a distance from New Jersey! She met her now-husband while living in one of these "exotic" locales, so unfortunately our college crew never really got to meet this mystery man who swept her off her feet. Not like we would've been able to stop her from being with the love of her life even if we wanted to, but it would have been nice to just pretend like our would-be informal screening process would've made a difference!
Their wedding was the first time I really saw them together (he was at her bridal shower as well, but she was a bit preoccupied mingling with out-of-town guests, so she didn't have much time to spend with her fiancé), and it was a long-awaited chance to observe my friend as a part of a couple. For better or worse, when a person is in a relationship, they grow and change, which makes sense when one life begins to merge with another. You're not just an individual anymore, you're a part of a unit, and it's only natural that you begin to adapt to each other's likes, dislikes, habits, and so forth, even if it's only slightly. In my opinion, one can get a good feel as to whether or not someone is a good romantic match for their friend by observing how they behave together. Watching my friend and her husband over the course of the weekend, one word kept popping into my head: Sturdy. They would get pulled in other directions by well-wishing relatives or overzealous friends (Ahem.), moving with the flow of the evening's wedding reception, only to make their way back to each other without any pomp or dramatic flair. They were just there, side by side. They really looked like partners to me. Strong on their own, but working together to be something greater. It made me happy to see her so content with someone, yet still very much herself.
I was also excited about these particular nuptials because I always get a bit emotional seeing my married friends in a new light. This particular friend of mine I knew from the very beginning of my first year of undergrad. Over that first year, we became close, and we lived together for the next three years until it was time to graduate (kicking and screaming all the way...college was awesome, we never would've left if it was socially acceptable to stay forever). We--along with the rest of our crazy cohorts--would go to meals together, get ready for parties together, curse to each other about crazy professors or confusing guys, and snuggle when we were feeling down. Ups, downs, lefts, rights--we pretty much saw it all during those four years, and continued to be there for each other after college graduation, even though it was no longer as simple as walking 5 feet to the bedroom next door.
There always seems to be a point in each wedding ceremony where it suddenly hits me that these people I'm watching aren't just my friends anymore. They're a husband and wife. They're taking solemn vows, swearing in front of God and their loved ones to build a life together. They're going to become parents together, and weather all the other crazy twists that life will present them with. It's such an incredible feeling, to look at someone you love and in one moment see all the milestones that brought them to where they are, and also see all the wonderful things they're going to accomplish, with this person by their side through thick and thin.
Yes, I am a huge sap. Regardless, in one moment I went from seeing the homesick girl who cried on my roommate's bed the first week of college, to a woman ready to take on whatever the world has to offer with her new husband beside her.
As I had expected, watching her make a lifelong promise to love, honor, and obey her husband was emotional, surreal, and above all else, completely awesome. We danced and drank the night away, celebrating with old friend and new ones, toasting to this new couple and wishing them nothing but the best the universe has to offer. The best part might've been realizing that, no matter what other titles she holds, she'll always be a friend, ready to drink cheap beer through a straw with me, just for old time's sake. And that, dear readers, is pretty great.
