Growing Old, Not Growing Up

Even though I'm inching closer and closer to the big 3-0 (yes, I have a couple of years to go, but it's still closer than I've yet to come to terms with), I'm still fortunate enough to remain very close with some of my best girl* friends from high school. Approximately 15 years after we met, these are still the ladies I count among my nearest and dearest, and who know me inside and out.

And, in those 15 years, I'm quite proud to say our maturity levels haven't changed much either. We still take long car rides together to catch up on our gossip, we still have ice cream dates at Friendly's, and yes, we even still have sleepovers, except now those sleepovers involve a lot more booze. Oh, and Pin the Tail on the Donkey. 

Seriously. We do that. Don't judge.

About 5 years ago or so, when the first wave of engagements gradually started rolling in from our separate groups of college friends, we collectively took stock of our own relationships. Whether we were dating casually, in a committed relationship, or just enjoying any cute guys that passed through our line of sight, we all concluded that none of us were remotely close to settling down. One of my girlfriends made the astute (and only half-joking) observation that we were more likely to collect our Social Security checks before any of us took the plunge. And honestly, we were OK with that. No need to rush our lives away - we'd get there when we got there.

As I shared a few months ago, late this summer my fiancé proposed, and I became the first lady in our group to join the "I'm Getting Hitched" club. I never, everrrrr would've bet that I'd be the first, but lo and behold, that's how it went down.

Then, roughly two months later, while on a vacation with her boyfriend, my friend D called me: "Hey...are you sitting down?" And with that, Bride-to-Be #2 joined the ranks.

A week after that, I got a text from my best friend L while at work, asking me to call her ASAP: Our friend J's boyfriend was secretly planning a proposal, and needed help putting together a celebration to surprise J with once he popped the question. He asked, she said yes (well, technically she said "OK!," which is both adorable and quite funny), and a third fiancée was born!

In less than 3 months, we collectively celebrated 3 engagements before any of us needed a Jazzy Scooter to get around...and none of us saw it coming. 

I'm pretty happy the engagements came along this quickly after each other. It's really fun to know that, just like with enrolling in college and making moves in our individual careers, I'll have these girls to share things with in our typically honest (and somewhat unpolished) fashion. It still feels so weird to know that (at least) 3 of us will become wives (!!!) within the next year or so, but at least we'll be there for each other to share the collective disbelief!

Anybody else out there ever experience a slew of surprise engagements within your group of close friends?

*Yes, I'm still close with quite a few of my best guy friends from high school as well. Heck, one of them is my future brother-in-law! But this post was about the hometown ladies, so the menfolk can just take a backseat.

'Tis the Season?

I am one of those people who absolutely hates it when I see holiday decorations displayed super-early. It's definitely one of my major idiosyncrasies. It makes me furious when people show total disregard for the calendar and rush the year away. I have seriously been overcome with waves of rage when I see "Back to School" displays in stores before July is over (really people?! Can't even wait until August??).

As you can imagine, this tends to hit me hard right around this time of year, when people have the tendency to immediately trade in their jack-o-lanterns and black cats for Christmas lights and snowmen. I have nothing against the yuletide season - and a tiiiiny voice in the back of my mind reminds me that this juxtaposition of decorations for these two holidays led to the awesomeness that is The Nightmare Before Christmas - but why the hell does everyone show such disregard for Thanksgiving? It's a holiday built around being grateful for those around you, and celebrating those blessings by eating copious amounts of savory, delightful food. What, pray tell, is so wrong with that that people need to turn a blind eye to this delicious event? Why is it soooooo hard to wait until the turkey has been packed into neat little Tupperware containers before you jingle those bells?

My standard rule is that Christmas cannot be officially welcomed until Thanksgiving dinner is completed. I force my parents to refrain from putting on the Christmas radio station on the ride to our family on Thanksgiving morning (yes, I am a brat). It's only when we're on the way back home that we crank up those festive tunes and speak the formerly forbidden "S"-word (Santa, clearly).

This year, however, is a bit different. With Thanksgiving still over a week away, I'm already getting excited for the Christmas season! The other day I found myself wandering down the Christmas ornament aisle at Target. I even debated getting a holiday sweater for our dog....to go with the reindeer ears I already bought her a few weeks ago.

Seriously, who am I?!

Maybe it's because Thanksgiving is a week later than normal and my internal holiday clock is a bit early compared to the calendar. Or it could be that I'm realizing next year my fiancé (well, husband by then!!) and I will be decorating our own place for Christmas and I'm already excited about how our new traditions with our families will look. No matter the reason, I'm cutting myself a little slack - just because I'm ramping up for Christmas doesn't mean Thanksgiving will be any less special! I'm still going to eat that turkey and mashed potatoes like my life depends on it, even if I'm already thinking about what I can bake for Christmas Eve. I can't bring myself to listen to any Christmas music yet, though. But I have had a cup or two of hot chocolate, and I think next time I might add a candy cane...We'll see how it goes!
 

Back in the Saddle

My oh my, does time have a way of getting away from me sometimes!

I had all these plans for some new blogs posts after my fiancé popped the question, per my previous post (much like how I had ideas for a blog post before he proposed!). I was going to do a summer wrap-up...a little vent about how wedding planning isn't always as shiny and fluffy as people make it out to be (might revisit that later, actually)...a list of all the things about the fall that make me love this time of year (spoiler: it involved pumpkin-flavored ev'rythaaaang)...a recount of all the fun autumn activities I took place in, and all the ones I regrettably missed out on, at least so far.

But you know what the say about the best-laid plans of mine and men: Nothing I wanted to write about actually got written. Life got pretty busy, but I can't complain, because it was only good things I got whisked up in! Engagement- and birthday-related celebrations, for both myself and other friends and family, the jump-start of wedding planning, work craziness, getting back into a fairly steady workout routine, and many other things that always left me saying, "You know what? I'll just blog tomorrow." You can guess how often I actually followed through on that one, seeing as how my last post was 2 months ago. Yikes!

But the time has come for me to be a bit more dedicated to writing. I started this blog to get into the habit of writing on a regular basis and working on finding my "voice," so I'm determined to make writing in this blog a part of my routine.

Not only do I have a lot of great things coming down the pike, but I have a lot of things that I've experienced recently that I would love to share:

 - Our engagement party
 - Our first steps in putting together our wedding: checking out venues, trying on bridal gowns, etc.
 - the one-year anniversary of Hurricane Sandy
 - checking out an awesome local outdoor sculpture park/art museum

There are so many things I want to talk about, which I think will be pretty great motivation to writing on a regular basis - I'm looking forward to getting back into this thing, so let's do it!

Change of Plans

Originally, my next post on this blog was going to be about milestones and anniversaries. See, within a short period of time this past couple of months, a lot of anniversaries rolled up, one by one: 10-year anniversary of our high school graduation, 10-year anniversary of when the majority of my college crew all met each other (we all initially became friends because we got assigned to live on the same floor of our dorm, so we made our first introductions on our first day of college), 10-year anniversary of my grandfather's passing (seriously, 2003 was a buuuusy year), umpteenth anniversary of our annual "family" vacations down to Delaware, and the 3-year anniversary of when my boyfriend and I started dating.

All of these occasions led me to be pretty introspective and think back on some significant points in my life, as you can imagine. However, something happened to throw a wrench in that blog post idea (which I may revisit eventually).

On the onset of our anniversary celebrations, while sitting on the beach sharing a glass of champagne, my boyfriend pulled out a white ring box and asked me to marry him.

In that minute, my entire world shifted in the best way possible - I am still on Cloud 82 (that's where they send the people who are just too dang giddy for Clould 9), and I just cannot believe we're planning our future together in such a permanent way. Now, I've known for years that I was going to spend my life with him by my side, but to be able to share that commitment with the world is the best feeling. I get to marry him!!! This freakin' rules!

So yeah, my planned posts are going to shift a bit. There are plenty of events and such that I still want to share with y'all, but in between those ramblings will be details about my fiancé and I putting together our wedding and all the great/awful stuff that goes along with that. But since you didn't know what I had planned, this really doesn't affect you at all! Yay you!

For the time being, though, before getting to all that writing, I'm just going to bask in the glow of being engaged to the love of my life. Because it's awesome.

The Day I Learned Heaven Does Exist

(a.k.a. That Time John Mayer Acknowledged My Existence)

One random weekday in late June, I got a phone call from my Mom. She was just calling to check in, and before we hung up, she said, "I got an e-mail from SiriusXM today, they're having an e-mail contest to win tickets to some John Mayer event. I can't enter before 5, so I'm going to leave work a little late because I'm going to enter you to win." She knows I'm a biiiiiiig Johnny Mayer fan, so my reply was, "Oh! OK, that sounds great, thanks so much!" The event details were fuzzy, but it involved John Mayer, so it didn't really matter. I figured I had a snowball's chance in hell of actually being selected, but you can't win if you don't enter, so why not? She was willing to take the minute to send in the e-mail, so I was all in.

By 5:02 p.m., I had a forwarded confirmation e-mail from my Mama Dukes. I was in. I won a pair of tickets to the John Mayer Born and Raised Final Dress Rehearsal, a private event in Philadelphia  kicking off the Born and Raised tour beginning this summer, taking place on July 2nd, time and location TBD. 

 

Sometimes my Mom is nothing short of awesome.

 

A few days before the event, as promised, SiriusXM sent the info about the time and location. The concert was going to air on the SiriusXM station The Spectrum at 8 p.m., so I figured they would hold the concert earlier that day in case they needed to do any editing before the broadcast. Again, I was wrong (sensing a theme?). It was taking place at 8. The location would be The Liacouras Center at Temple University. This is where Temple's basketball team plays their games, so I thought at worst we'd have nosebleed seats here, in their 10,200-person arena:

 

(Source: http://www.liacourascenter.com/)

At best, I thought we'd be in the Esther Boyer Theater that seats 1,000 to 5,000 people. Based on this info, it didn't look like it would be an intimate event, but rather a "practice" concert of sorts before Mayer kicked off his tour. But you know what? I didn't care. I was going to see one of my fave musicians, for free, for the first time in almost 3 years, at a special, secret concert with my boyfriend (also a big Mayer fan). Slice it however you want, this was a win.

 

Finally, July 2nd arrived! Yay! After a half day at work for each of us, the bf and I jumped in his Jeep and made the journey out to Philly. (Side note: Even though NYC will always be "the city" to me, I really enjoy Philadelphia...but not their sports teams. I have standards.) We decided that since the guest list for this event was going to be so huge, there was no use in trying to be the first people in line. It would be a stadium show, so any seat would be good. Who wants to wait in line for 4+ hours? Not this chick. So our plan was to grab food in Old City and just make our way over to Temple when we were set.

 

One delicious early dinner later, we drove on over to the Liacouras Center and parked in the adjoining parking deck (SiriusXM came through with another sweet hook-up: free parking!). As we were walking from the garage into the actual venue, I couldn't help but notice that the garage was not even close to being full. Wouldn't it at least be starting to fill up at this point if this was a huge concert? True, people had about another hour and a half before the doors opened, but still...maybe this wouldn't be some massive event...yet again, no use getting hopes up.

 

We entered the lobby to pick up our passes at the Will Call window and, again, took note of the number of people already on-line waiting for the doors to open. Suddenly, we were faced with a best-case-scenario situation: This would not be a large show in the least. There was somewhere around 200 people on-line at that point, if I had to venture a guess. Cue super-excited internal squeals of happiness.

 

We headed right to Will Call and picked up these sweet passes:

 

 

We picked the brain of the woman working at the window. She informed us the show would last about an hour and a half, and there would be no seating arrangements, everyone would be standing on the floor. Which meant that they will be able to comfortably fit all the attendees on the floor without any cause for concern. More elated internal squeals occurred right about here. This gig was getting sweeter by the minute.

 

After an hour or so wait (during which I frantically texted my parents how great this evening just might be) and a few quick announcements, they opened the doors to the concourse, and we entered the stadium. We had to walk down one flight of stairs, and this was our view (pardon the blurriness, I was trying to keep the line a-movin' while taking a picture and also, y'know, not fall):

 

 

As you can see, the stage was set up across the court from us without much pomp, just sitting there basically within arm's reach. And this, dear friends, is when I really started to freak. Without any pushing or racing (the crowd was quite mellow - more on that later), we walked up to the stage, placing ourselves directly behind the mic stand, six people from the front barricade. Six. SIX. That was going to be the distance between me and John freakin' Mayer. Six people deep from the stage. Holy hell, I needed a drink.

 

I didn't zoom at all for this pic.

(Personal photo)

 

We fortunately made friends with a pair of very sweet girls from Maryland that eased their way right behind us, and each pair took turns guarding the spots of the other during pre-concert beer runs (again, SiriusXM was amazing, and had a bunch of concession stands open for us) or bathroom trips. During one of these trips, the bf and I spotted the set list posted by the soundboard in the back: We would get 13 songs. My eyes and camera conspired against me so I wasn't able to get a good enough shot to make out the titles, but oh well. I'd surely love every song.

 

(Source: http://johnmayer.com/)

 

We (somewhat) patiently waited for the show to begin. And then, before we knew it, it was 8 o'clock. Lights down. The crowd cheered. Along with his band, out walked the man of the hour. And shit. Got. Real.

 

(All photos personal)

 

I won't bore you with the minuscule details (too late?), but this was probably the best concert experience I've ever had. I would say it took John the opening song to fully warm up. Once he got into his groove, it was game time in a serious way. As per usual, he was shredding like a monster, and he seemed to really enjoy the songs he chose for his set. We got some standard Mayer banter between a few songs (honestly one of my favorite parts of any of his shows), and it was overall just stellar. 

 

The best part? I, honest to goodness, and as verified by our Maryland friends, made eye contact with this man. More than once. As I was singing along, hands thrown in the air like a crazy person, groovin' like nothing else mattered, every so often John Mayer would glance over, and I'd sing along to his songs while looking him dead in the eyes. I thought I was imagining it, but after the concert was over, without any provocation, both my bf and the MD ladies brought up that this did indeed occur. Remember how I mentioned the mellowness of the crowd? Looked like that worked in my favor. Everyone in attendance was a contest winner, meaning they weren't necessarily a super-fan. They wanted a chance to experience a unique, enjoyable event, and it just to happened to be one that featured John Mayer. That also meant that not many people were as overly excited with every song as yours truly, nor did they basically shout every lyric. The folks at johnmayer.com posted this picture from the event. Notice the sole person with her arm in the air, head thrown back in excitement?: 

 

Two guesses who that is. (Hint: It's me.)

(Source: http://johnmayer.com/)

 

Makes me pretty easy to spot, no? After seeing this (and laughing at myself for about 3 minutes straight), you cannot convince me that the moments I shared singing John's words right on back to him were in my head. It happened. We rocked out together. Ugh, amazing.

 

As promised, the sonic bliss ended at just about 9:30, an hour and a half after it began. I almost caught a guitar pick (!!), but one of the ladies behind me spotted it on the floor before I was able to. Like I said though, they were incredibly sweet and also big Mayer fans, so I couldn't really be too jealous.  

 

The drive home from Philly was nothing but one giant rave about the once-in-a-lifetime concert. I'm still in disbelief that we got to be in the audience for something like that. Mr. Mayer's Born and Raised tour swings around our area in a couple of weeks, and I'm already counting down the days I'll get to see that man play live again. Sure, it wont be from 20 feet from the stage, but I'm betting I'll still be singing my heart out, hands raised to the sky.

 

Well, hand. Have to hold my beer somehow!

Better Late Than Never, Right?

Let me first apologize for falling off the grid for so long! I was planning on writing about all the things I was excited about doing this summer and before I knew it, Memorial Day was upon us, and instead of blogging about those things, I was diving head-first into them! That's the way to do things, right? Get the stories first, then write about them? Good, glad we agree!

It's been a pretty great summer so far, lived alongside great people, with plenty of time spent on or by the beach (ahhh, the beauty of living at the Jersey shore, the ocean is always deliciously close). I'm looking forward to catching y'all up, and I plan on doing so right away, so let's get back at it!

Do You Take This Man...

This past weekend, I had the honor of watching a good college friend of mine get married. She wasn't the first one out of our group to tie the knot, but you wouldn't have been able to tell judging from my excitement level during the weeks prior to the big event. I mean I absolutely love watching my friends get married (who doesn't get a kick out of watching the people who mean so much to them start such an important new chapter of their life?!), but in this case, I was especially amped.

 

A few factors came into play. First off, although she had a few flings in college, I've never actually witnessed my friend as a part of a serious, monogamous couple. This just so happens to be her first long-term relationship (we can't all be so lucky as to avoid those complicated, messy, emotionally scarring break-ups!). After college, this particular friend took an adventurous career path that lead her to a few different states, all of them quite a distance from New Jersey! She met her now-husband while living in one of these "exotic" locales, so unfortunately our college crew never really got to meet this mystery man who swept her off her feet. Not like we would've been able to stop her from being with the love of her life even if we wanted to, but it would have been nice to just pretend like our would-be informal screening process would've made a difference!

 

Their wedding was the first time I really saw them together (he was at her bridal shower as well, but she was a bit preoccupied mingling with out-of-town guests, so she didn't have much time to spend with her fiancé), and it was a long-awaited chance to observe my friend as a part of a couple. For better or worse, when a person is in a relationship, they grow and change, which makes sense when one life begins to merge with another. You're not just an individual anymore, you're a part of a unit, and it's only natural that you begin to adapt to each other's likes, dislikes, habits, and so forth, even if it's only slightly. In my opinion, one can get a good feel as to whether or not someone is a good romantic match for their friend by observing how they behave together. Watching my friend and her husband over the course of the weekend, one word kept popping into my head: Sturdy. They would get pulled in other directions by well-wishing relatives or overzealous friends (Ahem.), moving with the flow of the evening's wedding reception, only to make their way back to each other without any pomp or dramatic flair. They were just there, side by side. They really looked like partners to me. Strong on their own, but working together to be something greater. It made me happy to see her so content with someone, yet still very much herself.

 

I was also excited about these particular nuptials because I always get a bit emotional seeing my married friends in a new light. This particular friend of mine I knew from the very beginning of my first year of undergrad. Over that first year, we became close, and we lived together for the next three years until it was time to graduate (kicking and screaming all the way...college was awesome, we never would've left if it was socially acceptable to stay forever). We--along with the rest of our crazy cohorts--would go to meals together, get ready for parties together, curse to each other about crazy professors or confusing guys, and snuggle when we were feeling down. Ups, downs, lefts, rights--we pretty much saw it all during those four years, and continued to be there for each other after college graduation, even though it was no longer as simple as walking 5 feet to the bedroom next door.

 

There always seems to be a point in each wedding ceremony where it suddenly hits me that these people I'm watching aren't just my friends anymore. They're a husband and wife. They're taking solemn vows, swearing in front of God and their loved ones to build a life together. They're going to become parents together, and weather all the other crazy twists that life will present them with. It's such an incredible feeling, to look at someone you love and in one moment see all the milestones that brought them to where they are, and also see all the wonderful things they're going to accomplish, with this person by their side through thick and thin.

 

Yes, I am a huge sap. Regardless, in one moment I went from seeing the homesick girl who cried on my roommate's bed the first week of college, to a woman ready to take on whatever the world has to offer with her new husband beside her.

 

As I had expected, watching her make a lifelong promise to love, honor, and obey her husband was emotional, surreal, and above all else, completely awesome. We danced and drank the night away, celebrating with old friend and new ones, toasting to this new couple and wishing them nothing but the best the universe has to offer. The best part might've been realizing that, no matter what other titles she holds, she'll always be a friend, ready to drink cheap beer through a straw with me, just for old time's sake. And that, dear readers, is pretty great.